If It Had Been a Girl, They Were Going To Call It Katrina

Pink is the New Blog has announced that Britney Spears has successfully spawned. Contrary to what I reported back in January, our National Songbird did not name the child Cheeto after all — I guess, push comes to shove, it just didn't look like a Cheeto — but instead chose P(reston) M(ichael) S(pears) Federline. Is this woman ambivalent about motherhood, or what? You go, girl!

According to Star Magazine, ".....the singer is recovering from her C-Section in a luxurious suite of rooms at UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica. 'She has a room that would normally be semi-private, but they converted it into a private suite with shabby chic couches, chairs, and an armoire. She's also furnished two sitting rooms for her security to hang out in,' the source says. That main room, where the baby has been staying with Brit and Kevin, is costing the pop star $2,350 per night. Add on those two extra chambers, and she's likely dishing out a full $5,000 a night for her hospital accommodations!"

To assuage any — I don't know; guilt? — the Britney Spears Foundation is reporting that it has made two donations of undisclosed amounts to Habitat for Humanity and the East Baton Rouge Parish School District to help alleviate suffering there. However, rumors that Kevin is a total power bottom and Michael Brown is the baby's real father are just that: ugly, vicious rumors.