[Humor] Order, ye fractious whirls o' fucking shite!

Martian FM is my new drug-of-choice. I give you Bird Nest Thefts At Record UK Low, Palestinian Highway Signs and the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain. Also, my favorite excerpts from the TW@ archives:

As a television viewer I am fucking sick and tired of seeing so-called 'intelligent' people talking bollocks, wasting my valuable time and licence money. It is a sad reflection on today's values if David Hockney really is our greatest living artist - I saw him the other night on BBC Four and not only is he deaf, he lets dogs lick his mouth! Likewise, Melvyn Bragg comes across as a stuffed-up fucking Cumbrian ballvalve, and Jonathan Miller seems a bit of an arsey cunt. Why waste resources like this? Even David Dimbleby is 40% bigger than necessary.

My name is Jabaliya. I am an award-winning R&B singer, and this is a very special moment for me. I'd like to...oh, wait a minute. No, sorry, I'm a densely-populated refugee camp in the Gaza Strip.

As a child of four, I wholeheartedly support the initiative to teach media literacy to pre-school TV viewers. It is important to encourage people like myself to distinguish between different forms of moving image media such as documentary, news, propaganda, advertisements and corporate promotion, and to recognise that the sources and motivation of a text can make a difference to the truth or accuracy of what it says. My only reservation is that this initiative has the backing of Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell, who is a bum and looks like a bum and has a face like the crack where the poo comes out of the bum.