[Sex] Post-Coital Depression
Sure, if Americans cared half as much for the peoples of the Middle East as they do for Scott and Laci Peterson, we just might be able to put together a humane foriegn policy that would hold out the promise of a better future for all of us ... (bored ... falling asleep ... ) ... But! it is our God-given right to distract ourselves to death with a a single senseless murder. Our Right? Hell! It's our Patriotic Duty!
I'm still hoping Scott takes the stand during the sentencing phase and explains that he only killed the fetus for its stem cells, but let's face it, the best is probably already behind us, and soon we'll live in a World Without Scott.
Hardest hit of course will be the gay community, which has been tracking the case with bated breath. Scott may be a cold-blooded killer, he may even have committed adultery, but he's still as cute as a bug's ear. The folks over at Lavender Lounge are already beating the drum for Scott as gay male porn star, complete with fake nude pix. As John Waters so succinctly put it: "Everyone looks good when they're under arrest."
Over at Defamer, the world's best blog, they're trying to sort out the casting for the HBO series. So far, Ben Affleck seems to be beating out Mark-Paul Gosselaar for Scott's role, The script I'm busy writing has Scott (Ben Affleck) killing Laci (Jennifer Lopez) when he finds out the fetus is really his, and not Marc Anthony's. (We can get Juanes to play Anthony; someone who can sing.) Scott Rudin producing, and ChiChi LaRue directing. In my version, the jury acquits Ben because JLo has such a big ass, and Juanes realizes that it was Ben, and not JLo, that he really wanted. The miniseries would close with one of ChiChi's standard phoned-in orgy scenes: I see Brian Bloom and Chris Meloni making guest appearances. I think this is the sort of thing Jon Bon Jovi usually turns up in too. And Meryl Streep. As Laci's mom. And as the leather dungeon master in the orgy scene. Well, it still needs some work, obviously.
Meanwhile, CNN is reporting we've killed 1,000 insurgents in Falluja.
I'm still hoping Scott takes the stand during the sentencing phase and explains that he only killed the fetus for its stem cells, but let's face it, the best is probably already behind us, and soon we'll live in a World Without Scott.
Hardest hit of course will be the gay community, which has been tracking the case with bated breath. Scott may be a cold-blooded killer, he may even have committed adultery, but he's still as cute as a bug's ear. The folks over at Lavender Lounge are already beating the drum for Scott as gay male porn star, complete with fake nude pix. As John Waters so succinctly put it: "Everyone looks good when they're under arrest."
Over at Defamer, the world's best blog, they're trying to sort out the casting for the HBO series. So far, Ben Affleck seems to be beating out Mark-Paul Gosselaar for Scott's role, The script I'm busy writing has Scott (Ben Affleck) killing Laci (Jennifer Lopez) when he finds out the fetus is really his, and not Marc Anthony's. (We can get Juanes to play Anthony; someone who can sing.) Scott Rudin producing, and ChiChi LaRue directing. In my version, the jury acquits Ben because JLo has such a big ass, and Juanes realizes that it was Ben, and not JLo, that he really wanted. The miniseries would close with one of ChiChi's standard phoned-in orgy scenes: I see Brian Bloom and Chris Meloni making guest appearances. I think this is the sort of thing Jon Bon Jovi usually turns up in too. And Meryl Streep. As Laci's mom. And as the leather dungeon master in the orgy scene. Well, it still needs some work, obviously.
Meanwhile, CNN is reporting we've killed 1,000 insurgents in Falluja.
posted by Chris Hodge at 12:29 PM
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