[Lit] Spamming the Classics

So I was deleting all my "bigger, thicker, longer manhood" emails yesterday, and this one caught my eye and made me pause:

Besides, Captain Farragut had spoken of a certain sum of two thousand dollars, set apart for whoever should first sight the monster, were he cabin-boy, common seaman, or officer.

And then it launched into the whole "bigger, thicker, longer" pitch. But that opening paragraph, that's from Chapter 4 of Jules Verne's 20,000 Leages Under the Sea.

I was impressed. I know someone who watches the Home Shopping Network and refers to individual programs as if they were, you know, programs. So maybe spam isn't just spam. Maybe it's an emerging literary genre. Maybe it's just going to assimilate, riff on, sample from all the literary works available digitally on the web, and simply insert ads for sexual aids here and there. Perhaps we're just a few years away from a doctoral dissertation, Christian Symbolism and Gender Roles in Early 21st Century Male Enhancement Spam. Maybe this is progress. Maybe this is the best of all possible (insert ad here) worlds. I feel bigger, thicker and longer already.