All Creatures Great and Small

Time to shovel out the Animals Folder.

Mostly human livers grown in Nevadan sheep. Fur coats made from lamb fetuses all the rage (August 11, 2005). 450 Turkish sheep leap to their deaths (July 9, 2005). Hindu toad wedding.

Pet rooster running loose near Embarcadero Three. Seattle man dies from having sex with horse. (July 15, 2005). Oklahoman bitten on hand and foot by a pygmy rattlesnake, falls backward over a barrel onto a copperhead, and is bitten on the foot (again) and in the groin (July 15, 2005).

Lesbian swans discovered in Boston (August 12, 2005). Play depicts interspecies romance between a lovesick gay boy and a mako shark. Animal prosthetics. Infrared pet dryer.

Dogs admit on video, "Yes, I shit." Dog condoms recalled (August 3, 2005). Moby "a little too interested" in fan's bulldogs. Does a wagging tail indicate consent? Falwell denies ever equating homosexuality to bestiality and crack addiction (November 8, 2004).

Google Images search on "Animals." Belgian artist tattoos Chinese pigs. China sends pig sperm into space (July 17, 2005). Penis unicorns and gay unicorns. God hates shrimp. Fish lures East German man to his death (August 27, 2005). Tongue-eaating bug found in fish (September 2, 2005). Cats in sinks. Dogs dressed as bees. Cow lingerie.

US scientists create zombie dogs (June 27, 2005). "Plans to test the technique on humans should be realised within a year, according to the Safar Centre."

Christian wingnuts are hailing March of the Penguins is the next Passion of the Christ. According to WordNetDaily, "'March of the Penguins' is stubbornly heterosexual and pro-family with nary a 'gay' penguin in sight. Michael Medved says "March of the Penguins" is "the motion picture this summer that most passionately affirms traditional norms like monogamy, sacrifice and child-rearing." And Andrew Coffin, writing in World Magazine, "In unbelievably frigid temperatures, with no hope of food for months on end, the penguins select mates, huddle together to survive harsh snowstorms, and engage in an elaborate ritual designed to protect the single egg that results from their coupling. That any one of these eggs survives is a remarkable feat—and, some might suppose, a strong case for intelligent design. It's sad that acknowledgment of a creator is absent in the examination of such strange and wonderful animals."

Towleroad of course points out that homosexuality in penguins is more prevalent than in the College of Cardinals. He cites Roy and Silo in the Central Park Zoo, who tried to hatch a stone — and who hasn't followed some cute tailfeathers home just to find that they have feathers for brains? WorldNetDaily, however, backed by Fox News, now reports Silo has left Roy for a female named "Scrappy" — and doesn't "Scrappy" sound like the perfect name for a chick with a dick? — and speaking of tailfeathers, isn't Fox the Bill Hemmer network?

But Towleroad also points out that 3 out of 5 penguins in the Bremerhaven Zoo are gay, and 20 pairs of penguins in Japan were discovered to be gay. Finally, as Towleroad notes, it is the conservative George Will who throws cold water on the Intelligent Design argument: "If an Intelligent Designer designed nature, why did it decide to make breeding so tedious for those penguins?"

US scientists developing monkeys with human brains (July 11, 2005). "In cutting-edge experiments, scientists have injected human brain cells into monkey fetuses to study the effects. Critics argue that if these fetuses are allowed to develop into self-aware subjects, science will be thrown into an ethical nightmare."

Then there is — God help us — the Arts Community. The Viennese art group Gelatin constructed a 200 foot-long bunny "knitted by dozens of grannies out of pink wool."

Regine over at we make money not art has an interesting report on the Hybrid Identities symposium: "Artists are increasingly using their own bodies to explore themes and issues that have arisen in connection with the Life Sciences. For example, Art Orienté Object is planning a transfusion of filtered Panda blood." And Patricia Waller fabricates bunnies on a smaller scale.

I always read Four Four religiously for news about Whitney Houston and that no-good husband of hers, but I learned from cityrag that Four Four is also the home of Winston. Winston is now the star of several home movies, such as Winston the Kicker and Winston the Talker.

Finally: kittens survive accidental FedEx shipment (September 24, 2005) and puppy learns to perform Buddhist prayer rituals (September 7, 2005).